how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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