why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
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Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
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He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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