I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
