I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
