Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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