What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
