based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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