when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
