I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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