...so i touched it.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
