is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
