I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize