yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
