i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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