I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
