from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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