Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
