yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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