yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
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You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
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I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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