I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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