it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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