thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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