It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Randomize
