It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
