HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
