Me. At least after what I've been through.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
