K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize