so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize