Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
