Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
