She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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