This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize