I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Also, beer. Big fan.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize