Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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