I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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