im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Its about making memories worth repressing
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
