Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
