i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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