I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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