me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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