Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
