so that wasnt chicken after all
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
