Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize