please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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