CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
