just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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