If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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