Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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