Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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