also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
