Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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