Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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