oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
