Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize