You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
