wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
