I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize