I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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