woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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