Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
