Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
