dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
