I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize